Next England Footballer Scandal

According to my sources close to his agent, Emile Heskey has reportedly failed in a super-injunction amid claims that he often engaged in the demented masturbatory practise of ‘The Angry Trumpeteer’. During which he frantically smeared his crotch with preserved Dizzy Gillespie  trumpet ‘run-off’ while a prostitue shouted crazed insults about his International scoring record through a trumpet shaped like a cock.

Paddy Power have aleady paid out on the story being headline news in the tabloids by the weekend.

Author: markjorgy

is YOUR name Swedish or something?

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