Manchester City Council – Oversight of the Twelfth Night

Subject: A concerned citizen

Dear Manchester City Council,

I hope you’re all doing well at the council and may I take the time to wish you all a (belated) happy new year. I think all in all 2011 was a testing year not just yourselves but for the public sector in general so I’m sure you’re not too sad to see the back of it.

Unfortunately I have noticed a glaring oversight which I think could be the catalyst to a less than auspicious start to 2012; you have left the Christmas decorations up all over the city. Beyond the 6th of January!!!! Are you MAD? At the time of writing it is the 16th January and they are still there. 10 DAYS!!!

I was wandering around the city the other day and I couldn’t help but notice that on every lamp post the Christmas decorations still hang lonely and unilluminated, like drunken ‘trophy steals’ from a garden centre displayed proudly around a student flat. I am staggered that you would jeopardise the fortune, and consequently the safety, of the patrons of this city.

I’m not exactly a superstitious person. I do have a couple of quirks that I will only ever walk down-wind and habitually recite the nine times table aloud during coitus (but that’s more of a rhythm thing really). However, it’s well documented – far beyond preposterous pagan hokem – that failure to remove Christmas decorations on the 6th January (The Twelfth night) can yield catastrophic bad luck. Bad luck you have now seemingly consigned the whole city to.

I think even an idle glance at the facts would suggest so…

– The Howling Hilton. If that is not a harbinger of impending doom of some sort then I don’t know what is.

–  The complete lack of snow. An offshoot of global warming, normal weather cycles or something altogether more sinister? The latter, I would assume.

–  Look at the news….stabbing this, storms that, financial meltdown the other…coincidence?

– The ghost of Paul Scholes brazenly haunting Old Trafford.

–   I tripped on a curb and hit my head on the rear flank of a Ford Mondeo on Monday.

…what next?

I would like to know the council’s official stance on this matter. I think at the very least there should be a public apology and immediate withdrawal of all decorations before we all end up going feral and smashing each other’s craniums apart with sticks and dog bones.

Yours concerned,

Mark Jorgensen

Subject: Fw: A concerned citizen

Thank you for your email and your enquiry regarding the festive lighting.

Following Christmas, we aim to have all the decorations switched off by 6th
January, and then the contractors start to remove them following that date.
Given the geographic extent of the scheme and the requirement to minimise
disruption to existing city centre operations – this process normally takes
between 7 and 10 days – and has never been achieved in a single night, so
I’m confident that we are not invoking bad luck upon the city despite the
worrying omens that you cite.

They are taken down from the core area – Albert Square – and outwards. The
periods of high winds in the past weeks hasn’t helped this process this
year, as the equipment used to take down the decorations cannot be operated
in these conditions and it has put the contractors back, however all
decorations should be removed by the end of this week.

I hope this helps with your enquiry.

Kind regards.

> Karen Connell
> Events Unit
> Chief Executive’s Dept
> Manchester City Council
> Desk 012, 5th Floor, Number One First Street
> Manchester
> M15 4FN (for satellite navigation use M1 5DE)
> Please note postal address remains:
> PO Box 532, Town Hall, Manchester, M60 2LA
> for directions to First Street go to:

> email:
> website address:

Author: markjorgy

is YOUR name Swedish or something?

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