Letter to Lurpak – I’d like to discuss your understanding of the word ‘spreadable’

Subject: Re: A message from the Lurpak website
From: Lurpak Consumer Services
To: Mark Jorgensen

Hi Mark,

We are continually monitoring these forms. Feel free to send me your enquiry and I will pass it to the appropriate team.
Thanks,

Community Manager, Lurpak

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Subject: Re: A message from the Lurpak website
From: Mark Jorgensen
To: Lurpak Consumer Services

Hello there,

Thank you for such a swift response. Apologies for the curt message on the contact form, I’m a bit of a technophobe when it comes to that sort of business – I prefer a good old fashioned email.

Firstly, I’d just like to say I really like your salted butter products. I must admit though, that little trumpet-playing fellow who was made from butter caused me to have a slight wobble with brand appreciation. I hated him. Not sure why, but I hated him. However, generally, if I’m having a piece of toast – which I often do – then Lurpak is my topping of choice.

I do have a fairly major issue though I’m afraid.

I’d like to delve, if I may, a little more into your understanding of the word ‘spreadable’. If we break this down into a composite word of ‘spread’ and ‘able’, to my mind it would infer that it is ‘able’ to be ‘spread’.

Seems fairly simple.

I may be missing something glaring but when I try and spread this ‘spreadable’ spread, it tears the bread to wretched pieces like cheap kitchen roll under a power washer. Therefore having the word ‘spreadable’ brazenly daubed on your packaging seems misleading at best.

The only exception to this is with piping hot toast. Under these circumstances, if I can quickly get a glob of Lurpak on the toast (preferably Warbutons Toastie but I’m experimenting with brown bread as a consolatory olive branch to my innards), there is just about enough melting to allow a clean spread.
But I’d argue that this is more down to physics than the ‘spreadability’ of Lurpak.

To me, calling Lurpak spreadable is like calling a bottle of whisky ‘liver cleansing’.

Please could you explain your understanding of the word ‘spreadable’ and the context of it’s use on your packaging?

Buttery wishes,

M

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Subject: Re: A message from the Lurpak website
From: Lurpak Consumer Services
To: Mark Jorgensen

Hi Mark,

My apologies for not getting back to you earlier.

Thank you for your feedback, we always love to hear what consumers have to say – especially when it’s witty!

I’m not in a position to comment on the use of the word ‘Spreadable’ and as such, have forwarded your email to the consumer services team.
Hopefully they will have a satisfactory (if not technical) answer for you!

Many thanks,

Community Manager, Lurpak

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Subject: Re: A message from the Lurpak website
From: Mark Jorgensen
To: Lurpak Consumer Services

Lovely stuff,  thank you.

Sorry to chase, but I tried to make a sandwich earlier with soft bread and Lurpak but the bread ended up looking like a yeasty , crumpled horseshoe.

Help me before it’s too late.

Thanks

M

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Subject: Re: A message from the Lurpak website
From: Lurpak Consumer Services
To: Mark Jorgensen

Good Morning

Thank you for your email.If the product is not spreadable straight from the fridge, this would normally suggest that the product has been exposed to some form of temperature abuse. This may have occurred in transportation, distribution or the store.Alternatively if the product becomes spreadable after a few minutes out of the fridge this could be that the fridge is to cold for the product or if the product is left out of refrigeration for too long and becomes quite soft this can also cause the product to become difficult to spread.I hope this helps answer your question.

Kind Regards

Consumer Relations

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Subject: Re: A message from the Lurpak website
From: Mark Jorgensen
To: Lurpak Consumer Services

Hello you,

Thank you for your response.

I’d just like to understand – from a corporate perspective – your interpretation of the word spreadable as used on your packaging. I feel that, delicious though it is, Lurpak contravenes the very nature of the spreadable game.

However, you did touch on an interesting point. I wondered if you could elaborate further on the temperature fluctuations in which butter(or butter like ‘spread’) can be subjected to before it constitutes abuse?

Thanks in advance.

M

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Subject: Re: A message from the Lurpak website
From: Lurpak Consumer Services
To: Mark Jorgensen

Good Afternoon

Would you like to forward a contact telephone number to discuss this further.

Kind Regards

Consumer Relations Coordinator

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Subject: Re: A message from the Lurpak website
From: Mark Jorgensen
To: Lurpak Consumer Services

Hi

Sorry I am currently trying to remove a precious butter knife from some Lurpak like Excalibur. I think I may be here for most of the afternoon so email would be preferable.

Thank you.

M

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Subject: Re: A message from the Lurpak website
From: Lurpak Consumer Services
To: Mark Jorgensen

Good AfternoonGood Afternoon

Please may I ask you to confirm your fridge setting.We produce over 1 million units of Lurpak Spreadable’s a week, although this is not the first comment regarding this issue, it is however unusual.

Kind Regards

Consumer Relations Coordinator

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Subject: Re: A message from the Lurpak website
From: Mark Jorgensen
To: Lurpak Consumer Services

Good afternoon,

I can confirm that my fridge setting is “on”. It’s a Siemens model if that helps. It’s like a big white rectangle with a door. Opens out.

That is an awful lot of butter. It’s also reassurance that there are people who have had the same concern. Do you use the product yourself? In which case, how do you find it’s spreadability on, say, Warbutons Toastie, room temperature?

Thanks

M

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From: ConsumerRelations@arlafoods.com
To: mark.jorgensen@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: Lurpak Enquiry

Good Afternoon

Yes I only ever use Lurpak Spreadable, I do not find the spreadablity an issue unless, I have inadvertently left the product out of refrigeration and the product has become soft.

The room temperature is irrelevant as it all depends on how warm or how cold the room is and how long the product is left out, even in a cold room the product will eventually go soft.

The product is designed to be spread straight from the fridge, if it is subjected to any abuse it can eventually become difficult to spread.

I hope this now brings the matter to an end.

Kind Regards

Consumer Relations Coordinator

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Subject: Re: A message from the Lurpak website
From: Mark Jorgensen
To: Lurpak Consumer Services

Ok thanks. I’m surprised that you don’t suffer the same problem but I guess I will have to speak to my fridge manufacturer as the temperature abuse must be at their side.

Might I suggest that you offer some form of Butter Temperature Control Workshops? It could be an added revenue stream and could help hapless butter victims such as I control the horrific levels of domestic temperature abuse they subject their butter to.

I won’t request any % of the proceedings, consider it free consultancy. Something to think about.

Thanks for your help.

M

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From: ConsumerRelations@arlafoods.com
To: mark.jorgensen@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: Lurpak Enquiry

Yes we’ll have a look in to that Mark, thank you.

Kind Regards

Consumer Relations Coordinator


Author: markjorgy

is YOUR name Swedish or something?

6 thoughts on “Letter to Lurpak – I’d like to discuss your understanding of the word ‘spreadable’”

  1. Sorry to butt in on your product discussion but I have also left a couple of enquiries on your website about the fact that one of your delivery drivers hit my car and drove off. I cannot for the life of me find an actual telephone number to try and contact you and so would appreciate it if you could look into this matter. If you could send me an email address or telephone number I would be quite happy to speak to someone on this matter and the damage to my car (never mind that I was actually in the car at the time!)

  2. Well it wasn’t but if you would like to take up my cause in your rather ‘unique’ and witty approach I would appreciate it very much. I must say reading all your blog has cheered me up no end today. Needless to say Lurpak have not bothered to get back to me about their hit and scarper driver and I now have to pay the £250 excess on my insurance to have my car fixed. Their trucks seem to be as solid as their spreadable butter unfortunately.

    1. Ok Karen. I’m in. Compliments evidently get you everywhere and I am happy to join forces with you to help stand up to this lightly salted traffic menace.

      My email address is on this trail, bob me a mail and I shall starch my complaining trousers…

      1. I wouldn’t put too much starch in your trousers, may be a tad uncomfortable getting on your soap box on my behalf. Unfortunately i cannot see your email address on here but my email address is kboyle1709@gmail.com. Thanks for your support and I am looking forward to your comments.K

  3. I have just made the brownie recipe which came with the free brownie tin plus two packs of lurpack. The recipe is obviously not correct because the brownies are completely inedible as the quantitiy of butter is far too much and all I am left with is a greasy pile of brown yuk. I am really annoyed because the recipe uses quite a lot of chocolate and nearly a whole packet of lurpak so it has defeated the object of what I was trying to do, save money as the tin offer was good.

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