Up grit creek without a paddle

Manchester City Council have announced that they are setting up a Twitter account named @MCCGritters1 to keep the public abreast with their gritting schedule as we approach the peak of winter. For a country susceptible to the odd cold snap, Britain – or should I say Britons – cope spectacularly poorly each and every timeContinue reading “Up grit creek without a paddle”

Manchester City Council – Freedom of Information

Dear Manchester City Council, You may have seen in the news recently that following an enquiry from a concerned citizen, Leicester City Council were forced to concede that they have are unprepared for the advent of a zombie attack. Being the progressive and well managed local authority you are, I’m confident you have the requisiteContinue reading “Manchester City Council – Freedom of Information”

Next England Footballer Scandal

According to my sources close to his agent, Emile Heskey has reportedly failed in a super-injunction amid claims that he often engaged in the demented masturbatory practise of ‘The Angry Trumpeteer’. During which he frantically smeared his crotch with preserved Dizzy Gillespie  trumpet ‘run-off’ while a prostitue shouted crazed insults about his International scoring recordContinue reading “Next England Footballer Scandal”

England job application

Dear FA, I appreciate that this may be a pre-emptive enquiry as Mr Capello still holds the post of England manager, however, I would like to tender both my interest and availability for the post. 3 Lions. This is our national football emblem said to embody the fiery passion and dominance of a Tripartite ofContinue reading “England job application”

Oh Shit-zerland

Swiss enter Administration as Global Crisis Deepens Report by Freddy terror With the financial capitulation of Portsmouth FC still disturbingly fresh in the memory, the Global recession was plunged further into chaos last night after it was announced that Switzerland is to enter administration following a period of dramatic financial decline. Once the millionaire’s playgroundContinue reading “Oh Shit-zerland”