BT Complaint Round 2 – Come At Me Bro!

*I again copied in the CEO*   Dear BT, Recently, you and I had a bit of a bicker, which you can read here. You did some things (like over charge me for years for a service you weren’t properly providing). I said some things (like you chew with your mouth open and you areContinue reading “BT Complaint Round 2 – Come At Me Bro!”

Complaint to BT: MY Invoice

*It’s important to note that with this email I copied in the personal email of Joe Garner, CEO of BT Openreach/Broadband* Dear BT, Usually when I complain to companies, I have a pretty regimented structure which goes thusly: Intro with a compliment to gain trust Some form of ridiculous whimsy or other Then the cruxContinue reading “Complaint to BT: MY Invoice”

Spiders On A Tram – Letter To Metrolink

From: Mark Jorgensen To: Customer Services Subject: SPIDERS ON A TRAM Hi, I live and work in Manchester city centre so I seldom have a use for the tram network. Nevertheless, I occasionally pop out to the suburbs on a middle class pilgrimage to seek the wonders of Disbury’s dried spice market, haberdasheries, or sometimesContinue reading “Spiders On A Tram – Letter To Metrolink”

Literally writing to the Oxford English Dictionary

Dear OED I’ve always considered myself a sesquipedalian sort of chap. My aunt once said I was the ‘Nigel Mansell of words’. To be honest I don’t really understand the relation and I think she got her metaphor a bit jumbled but I appreciated the sentiment all the same. Imagine my dismay then, a coupleContinue reading “Literally writing to the Oxford English Dictionary”

Letter to Madam Tussauds – “I cannot help you drink or hide Jeremy Kyle, Mark”

From: Mark Jorgensen To: Guest Enquiries Subject: Enquiry Hi, I run a youth group for troubled teens in Stockport and I am looking for events to keep the kids engaged and out of trouble. We are planning a coach trip and one of the kids, Chazmar, has mentioned that she would like to go to Madame Tussauds. She’s quite ‘strongContinue reading “Letter to Madam Tussauds – “I cannot help you drink or hide Jeremy Kyle, Mark””