Spiders On A Tram – Letter To Metrolink

From: Mark Jorgensen To: Customer Services Subject: SPIDERS ON A TRAM Hi, I live and work in Manchester city centre so I seldom have a use for the tram network. Nevertheless, I occasionally pop out to the suburbs on a middle class pilgrimage to seek the wonders of Disbury’s dried spice market, haberdasheries, or sometimesContinue reading “Spiders On A Tram – Letter To Metrolink”

Ad reply – John The Muggy Whip Thief

Bored and hungover I replied to an ad…   ******** From: Mark To: John Subject: Reply to your ad: For sale   Are you trying to mug me off or are you just stupid? From: John To: Mark Subject: Reply to your ad: For sale   Excuse me?   From: Mark To: John Subject: ReplyContinue reading “Ad reply – John The Muggy Whip Thief”

Literally writing to the Oxford English Dictionary

Dear OED I’ve always considered myself a sesquipedalian sort of chap. My aunt once said I was the ‘Nigel Mansell of words’. To be honest I don’t really understand the relation and I think she got her metaphor a bit jumbled but I appreciated the sentiment all the same. Imagine my dismay then, a coupleContinue reading “Literally writing to the Oxford English Dictionary”

Ad reply – Gay Keith and ‘The Fight Bastard’

Google+ Bored and hungover I replied to a Gumtree ad… From: Mark Jorgensen To: Keith Subject: Reply to your ad: Room available in 2 Bed Flat Have you ever eaten grouse? From: Keith To: Mark Jorgensen Subject: Reply to your ad: Room available in 2 Bed Flat What? From: Mark Jorgensen To: Keith Subject: Reply to your ad:Continue reading “Ad reply – Gay Keith and ‘The Fight Bastard’”

Ad reply – Carry On Gumtree and Darren’s Console

Google+ Bored and hungover I replied to a Gumtree ad… From: Mark Jorgensen To: Darren Subject: Reply to your ad: PS3, 3 games and 2 controllers Please can you advise the current state of your console? From: Mark Jorgensen To: Darren Subject: Reply to your ad: PS3, 3 games and 2 controllers Sorry I realised after readingContinue reading “Ad reply – Carry On Gumtree and Darren’s Console”